You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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