So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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