god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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