I got chris browned last night
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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