fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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