Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
a search helicopter?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
