Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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