i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
