11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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