I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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