I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
