the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
