whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
