Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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