Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
