you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
