would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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