Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
