he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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