so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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