I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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