Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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