i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
