Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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