I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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