Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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