I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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