Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I supernannyed him into submission
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
