she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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