We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
