Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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