Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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