I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
