I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Damn victory sex feels great
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
