youre lurking in front of me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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