I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
