When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
