you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
