Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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