Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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