Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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