all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
