NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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