Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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