My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
