Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
