it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
