get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
