Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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