He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
